I have had an awesome life so far and I wouldn’t trade mine for anyone else’s. Sure there are things I regret but everything has ultimately turned out for the better.
The really bad choices I have made have taught me not to act the same again, and from my mistakes I have gained knowledge and wisdom. So really, the things I regret, I no longer regret, because if I had never done the foolish things I have done I wouldn’t have learned and I would still be a fool. I am not, in any way, trying to boast, but I believe I have a good deal of wisdom in my head. Weather I choose to use it or not is another story. Regardless, I know what wisdom is and I know I have some of it.
God has put me through situations that I hated going through, but I always knew it would work out in the end even though I had no idea when the end would be and if it would ever be. I am glad He put me through those times because now I have become a new person; a better person. He is making me into the girl He wants me to be.
Looking back at my life, I can’t believe how blind I was at some stages, or how vulnerable. Now when the same sorts of challenges hit me I look at when it happened before and recognize how stupid I was for so easily falling into temptation or for being lazy and foolish by not doing what needed so desperately to be done. I can see I have come a long way. I have grown stronger. After facing many challenges I have learned better how to manage myself and how to react to various circumstances in my life that I know will not happen only once.
It seems to me that all of the times when I was really struggling or I was really depressed, it was either because I was so lost in life that I didn’t know what to do, or it was because I had prioritized something over God so much that God was being pushed out of my daily life. I think these two went hand in hand most of the time because without God life become meaningless. With no meaning in life I became confused and had no idea what to do with myself or my life. I can’t believe how long it took me to finally figure out that I just needed God to guide me. This is why I said I couldn’t believe my blindness in the past. I don’t even know how I could forget God for so long! He is the center of my life now and I have joy and much less worries. Why did I not accept Him when I needed His comfort and guidance and security?!
No one who has ever existed can compare to Jesus Christ. My view of things revolves so much around the fact that God is in control of everything and that He helps each of us individually and has plans for our lives. God never left me. He has been watching and helping me since before I was born! I was the one who tried to block His hand in my life, and doing so only brought despair. And even in the despair God never left me. If I were He I would have given up on me, the stubborn human, who wouldn’t listen to reason. But no, God loves me despite what I have done and despite my evil nature as a human and he will never stop loving me!
God knows what He is doing. That is something I have learned. I can’t do didely squat without Jesus, but through Him I can do anything. He has made me a better person and given me a desire to become a wise young person and to follow Him. Without God, life is meaningless, but with Him everything has so much meaning! I can’t express how overjoyed and exited I am that God loves me and that He is my Lord. I am not ashamed to scream that I love Jesus, and I am ready and glad to serve Him all my life.