Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Hard Core Christ (2012 Anual Note)

(This post can also be found on the Anual Note page)

Within the last few months I have gone through a lot of thought. I haven’t posted much about my life recently because a lot of it has just been question and answer going on between me and God.

I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. I have always believed that Jesus is who He says He is and all the other things they taught me in Sunday school. And I know for sure that some time around 8 through 10 I actually understood what it was that I was believing. Since arriving in Malawi though, I have gone through a LOT of different changes, experiences, phases of my life, learning, and growth.

From the time I turned 12 until the summer after my 13th birthday in March, was a really difficult, confusing, discouraging, and lonely time in my life. At that point life was definitely not a walk in the park for me, but reminds me more of sweating, worrying and trudging up a mountain that you’ve never seen before, and that you’ve found yourself to be lost on in the deepest jungles of its core. It sounds bad I know… And it kind of was.

In the trauma of that year I think I subconsciously blocked a lot of previous memories, which is really sad for me because my little kid days were the bomb. It is a bummer to only be able to remember tiny bits and pieces.

Thankfully, though, there was an end to all of the trouble – like there is to all things. I can’t remember for sure what happened. I had known for a while that God was trying to get at me, I just hadn’t wanted Him. There was a point around April maybe, of 2011, though, when I was confused (as I had been for a year), I was crying, and it just downed on me that all I needed, was God. I felt ashamed and stupid for not realizing before, but I felt so relieved! It was all over! Everything I feared, everything I was dreading, and everything that had happened before, all my confusion – it was all just taken care of right there and then! It was… Amazing!

It took me the remainder of the summer to completely recover, and to get over my old life, I guess you would say. I felt renewed but timid, because I didn’t quite know what I was doing. The people that had been involved in my life and had had the same sorts of troubles as me were all changing for the better too, along side me, all of us in our own hearts and our own way. We were all, in a since, coming back to God.

When school started up again, I was pretty literal about getting rid of things like gossip. I was sort of a newbie. I had always been the one to just go along with the gossip, so my “guys, stop gossiping” sort of shocked my friends, and didn’t make them happy. Let’s just say it took me a couple months to perfect my methods. Slowly I just grew in my faith and in my love for the Lord.

The next real turning point was new years. I had been reading Through My Eyes, an autobiography by Tim Tebow, and it had really been inspiring me. I felt a totally new love and excitement about being a Christian, and having Christ in my life was a whole new concept. It was so, personal, so specific to ME. It was like a hope, peace, joy, anticipation, love, and excitement all warped into one feeling!

(Art by Timothy John Serra)

From then on until now, I almost feel like Paul. It breaks my heart to see people who are like I was. It breaks my heart to see people who are blind and lost! My heart BLEEDS for the people who don’t have Christ and who live their life in anguish, and even for the Christians who don’t quite know what they believe in. My heart BLEEDS! All I want to do is tell them! All I want to do is be a light! I want them to have Him like I do because I can see the DRAMATIC change in my life! I want them to feel this feeling that is so satisfying, that puts you at such peace and give you so much hope and security! And most of all, all I want to do is live my life for Jesus. He is… I can’t describe Him AT ALL! He is beyond words and beyond comparison! He has done SO much for me! More than I can tell! He is the best things that ever happened to me! All I want to do is honor Him.

Now, this is my goal in life: To be the best Christian, friend, sister, daughter, (fine, student. I guess) and person that I can be to the best of my ability. To be pure in the way I live my life and the things I am involved in, and to become closer and closer to Jesus in any way I can. I want to do what He made me to do, be ready for Him, at when I’m done, live with Him in heaven forever! AHHH! Nothing sounds better!!!!!

Jesus is the only person, the only thing that can make you feel this feeling that is more like an unheard music than an emotion; A music in your soul like all of these in one: The rush and the pump that you get from hard core, the excitement and overwhelmingly happy anticipation of the airport in the morning, the relief of everything being lifted off your hanging solders, the purity and right-ness of being put on a cloud away from the sickening evil that usually surrounds you, the guilt, shame and realization of your own evil, and the gratitude, hope, peace, and satisfaction you have for the things that have been done for you by Him.

Jesus isn’t fake. He isn’t cheesy. Jesus isn’t to be taken lightly. He is hard core, man. Hard . He doesn’t appear on the outside and maybe soak in a little. He has to get in you. I mean REALLY get in your system, more than your own blood in your body is in your system! He has to open your eyes and let you realize the best thing ever - something that can’t be told, but has to be felt. He has to awaken you, and THEN all the outside stuff will start to soak OUT.

Christ is hard core stuff. Stuff to wrap your entire life around. And I am beyond thankful that I have realized that, finally. I’ve got a long path ahead of me, but for once in my life, I’m not the least bit scared. I feel really cool. Cool as beans…

I follow my hard core Christ. To the end, man.

Thank you for reading my blog and my testimony. Visit my Anual Note page to read this post any time, and to see my Anual Post for each year of my bloggity life. To contact me please email me at liz.trumble@gmail.com I apriciate all the suport you all give me. Have a fantastic day.

The Art fetured in this post was done by Timothy John Serra, as you may all know as Timmy.


  1. Elizabeth, so glad to see what God has been doing in your life! Praying now that He would continue to reveal Himself to you in new depths - that you might understand more and more His love for you! That He would complete the work He has started in you, just as He has promised! Miss you much, but am thrilled that HE HAS FOUND YOU!! So proud of you, sweet one.
    Love you, Mrs. Bonker (Miss Dinwiddie)

  2. Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth! It's a privilege to read about His work in your life and you expressed it really well. As the above comment says, may the Lord strengthen you to look to Him as you run the race with endurance(Hebrews 12:1-2).