Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The summer has come

School basically ended last Friday when we took our last final exam, but we had to go on Monday and Tuesday to clean up and sign yearbooks. We got out at 10:00 yesterday. It felt so fact. It's felt fake ever since Timmy left during Christmas break and then even more so when Amber left during Easter. I've had some serious trouble coping with not having Amber around. I've kind of been avoiding life and just doing school stuff. It worked OK. I got all As and one B which I am really happy about. I also didn't really have to think. I just had to go to school, come home, do homework and go to bed.

But school is over.
And like I said, it felt fake. It didn't feel like it REALLY was the end of school, and it didn't feel like the people leaving were REALLY leaving. The Kolekis wont be here anymore. O.o  I'm not great friends with them, but it doesn't matter! I'm used to tehm being here! The 5 graduates won't be here. The Norwegians are leaving in a couple days. Mr. and Mrs. Hiroto are leaving like next week. :O !!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I really don't know what to do. I feel like such a dork. I don't care if I am one as long as I can still function, but I can't really function that well when I'm surrounded by people everyday that I don't really feel like I fit in with. Amber is the only person that I feel like has ever really understood me and accepted me and all of my quirks. I can't believe we were friends. I never thought I would ever get to know her. Now, she is gone and I am pretty much stuck with my family. I love my family, but sometimes you just have to get away and talk to someone else! Like, someone who will listen to you talk about something like a book or a movie or sport! Someone of your same gender sometimes would be nice!  I'm stuck with my brothers who just don't cut it sometimes!  I have friends of course... but they don't get me like Amber. They don't like or talk about the same things as me. I don't really care about the things that they like and they don't really care about the things that I like. In that way they aren't much better than my brothers.

...........  I can probably talk to Jim about  more than I can with anyone else right now, but he is kind of an on and off now and then kind of friend to me. Sometimes he doesn't want me anywhere near him and sometimes I can laugh and talk with him.

Anyway.... I miss Amber A LOT! I really really really miss having a creative friend who is like me and will sit there in silence for three hours strait drawing with me.  I feel like such a loner. I'm so weird. I can't just get along with everyone. You kind of have to know me and accept my odd personality before I can get along with you. 

This summer hasn't started out very wonderfully, and I don't see a lot actually happening in the near future. Maybe I am glad now that we are going a few places this summer. Like I said, I'm stuck with my family anyway.

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