I finished the first week of school and am now starting the second. I feel like I am treated like more of a little kid than I am sometimes, because part of me feels like a highschooler, but on the other hand, I am glad to still be in middleschool. I am so not ready to be older. I'm barely feel ready enough for eighth grade!
It has been a sad beginning to school because a lot of my fiends aren't here this year and it's so different. It's hard when friends leave. Yeah, you can keep in touch... but, not really. You have to make a big effort if you plan to stay in touch, and no one does. Not me a least. Lately I haven't even been getting on the computer much, and I don't really want to. I've really been missing my friends and old teachers, but life goes on I guess...
Mr. Owen, the reception teacher, asked me to draw him a huge cat in the hat for his classroom door (which WAS meant to have a hat by the way, it was separate. and which looks lame compared to those pro wall paintings) Anyway, Miss Thrasher (Steve's teacher and my soon to be art teacher) came by and saw it and asked if she could look through my drawing pad. "Do you draw everyday?" She asked. I was like "uh..... " (are you kidding me! no.) "I would if I could...." Which she followed by saying something like "If you don't use it, you lose it. Trust me."
I decided it would be good for me to draw everyday. I know I get a lot better when I practice, so I may as well practice. Before, I drew MAYBE once a week during the school year. Usually less. Ever since 09/10 I kind of quit drawing I think because I used to use it to vent or to "be someone" without people actually having to know or understand, and after getting facebook and real friends and being busy, I guess I just turned to other things. I picked it back up for a while and drew every night at my desk when I first got into My Chemical Romance. It was my drawing music, and I was inspired by Gerard Way as he is a comic book artist. That stopped too. I forget why.
... Anyway though. I broke out my old binder planner (that I never used) and decided to use it as a drawing book. Since it is a binder, I feel a lot more free to do what I want and to make mistakes and even to add comontary on my pictures or journal entries and WHATEVER! ^_^ It's so fun! I am in compleat control! I made a sort of promiss to myself, without really thinking about it, that I would draw a picture evryday. And I ept that promiss for like eight days! but I missed Friday becuase Jessica was sleeping over and time just slipped away... I've drawn a lot of pitures though! I discovered that I really can ven't through art and that I really would prefer I do it that way. I don't like people knowing about my feelings or my life more than they must. I'm not very good at keeping to myself, but after I've told somone I always regret it. I'd like to have my own life; dal with it myself, have a few secrets, not b such an open book. Becuase, frankly it just drives me crazy when people know all these things about me. It really tie me down and restricts me.
This is getting kind of long, so I guess I'm done. but I will update some more later.
I haven't given up on art though. That is mainly what I wanted to clarify.